I like to think I’m nicer this time around than I was as a pregnant lady for the first time. PTB might disagree. Whatever!
I am, however, way more irritable about stupidity. Maybe I think the baby will catch it and I’m just trying to protect my offspring? Who knows. Being pregnant makes you crazy. I’ll admit it. I present to you my list of things that dumb people say: pregnancy edition.
“You haven’t gained any weight!”
Right. I get it. You completely mean this as a compliment. In reality, I have gained over 40lbs. I don’t need to be told I haven’t gained any weight. I’m not upset about this giant belly on the front of me. I don’t need you trying to make me feel great. Because…it didn’t work.
“You haven’t changed at all except that big belly”
This is essentially the same thing, but possibly more annoying. I know how different my body shape is. I know that my maternity clothes from my first pregnancy are too small on me. I know that I am 39+ weeks pregnant and I am seriously considering going to the mall to buy some new clothes so that I can be comfortable for just the few remaining days.
“You’re definitely having a _____”
You are definitely not an ultrasound technician looking at my baby right this moment. Also, please don’t feel the need to touch me in any way to make this assessment. It’s fun to play guessing games. I’ve encouraged it every week on my own blog. I find this statement to be more annoying from strangers than from friends.
“How are you feeling?”
Really?! Yes, I find this to be the most annoying question while pregnant. Maybe it is just because it gets asked too freaking much.
“Are you dilated at all?”
Just don’t. Unless I am offering up information because you are one of maybe 3 people that could get away with that question, don’t. I don’t need to discuss the inner workings of my vag with anyone except my doctor. And those 3 people who probably don’t want to hear about it but they love me so they listen 🙂 And in case you were wondering…I’M NOT!
Show any response to my due date other than “That’s awesome”.
The proper response when asking a woman her due date is “That’s awesome! You must be so excited!” This is the ONLY acceptable response. It is not polite to say “Oh I thought it would be much sooner”. It is also not polite to respond with “Oh that’s too bad the baby might have to have their birthday on Christmas”. I know, right? Too bad you have to share a birthday with JESUS! Maybe I’m more accepting of this because I have 2 family members with Christmas Day birthdays. My dad’s birthday is the week before and a brother’s the week after. It’s perfectly ok to have a birthday close to or on Christmas. Or the 4th of July. Or any other holiday. No response to a due date is acceptable other than “That’s awesome!”
“Is this your last one?”
I don’t care who you are, this is another one that unless the information is offered to you, don’t ask anything in this category. Do not assume that “one of each” means a complete family to everyone. Do not assume that people want to discuss these matters with you. Do not assume people don’t change their minds or are working on a set number from the start.
“Was this planned?”
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! I have been married for nearly 8 years. I have an almost 2 year old. Where do you get off asking me if my second child was planned or not?! Do I seem like I have completely lost my mind with the first one? Do I not seem competent to have a second one? Are you just stupid? Do you think if it wasn’t planned I would tell you of all people? **Please note: no matter what the age of the pregnant woman or marital status, this is not an appropriate question ever.**
Things you can say to a pregnant woman:
- You look wonderful!
- That’s awesome!
- Let me know when you need a babysitter/your toilets scrubbed/your toddler entertained!
- Here’s a high value Target Gift Card. I wanted to make sure there was enough for you to buy something for yourself as well!
Would you add to either of these lists? I am sure I missed plenty, but I’ll blame the pregnancy brain.